Chapter 2  

Before I continue on with what happened specifically with me, let me give everyone an idea of the “atmosphere” of Josh’s message boards in 2003, 2004, 2005. (Of course, this is MY overall impression, but I know many others share this view.) There are a certain group of fans, who I have been referring to as the “board police”, who have made it their job to monitor Josh’s board 24/7. It didn’t get too bad until 2004, when I think the aggressiveness accelerated due to many factors. Josh started touring, and therefore was getting a lot of attention from critics, and he was “changing” in the eyes of many of his fans: a Maxim model girlfriend, wardrobe and appearance changes, etc., and new fans were coming to the boards all the time, as his fan base increased. People naturally want to express what they really think, even if it is “negative”. The board police would have no part of that. If anyone expressed anything whatsoever negative about Josh or his record company or his management or anyone close to him, that person was immediately given a condescending lecture about “the proper way to post on Josh’s board” and “what a TRUE fan would say”. They often arrogantly stated matter-of-factly how JOSH would feel, as if they had a direct line to his heart and brain. They watched and posted in every fricking thread on Josh’s board, and if anyone dared to stand up to their arrogance, you were given another lecture. According to the BP, Josh and everyone around him was perfect, and you were hurting poor little Joshie’s feelings and being a “bad fan” if you said otherwise. (What a load of crap.) If you didn’t back down like they wanted, they ran over to the “vent thread” and discussed what a troublemaker you were or made fun of you—often in subtle ways. If you then still didn’t go away and shut up, they would take their taunts to the next level: labeling you a “troll”, calling you obsessed or evil, telling you that you are “not welcome here”, or other such nasty things. And of course they would fire off PM’s to “turn you in” to the moderators of the board. The mods had an easy job—they didn’t have to read the board at all!! All they had to do at the end of the day is spend a few minutes checking their PM’s to get the list of “bad posts” and “bad fans”, and there were probably even a few “Mod you’re wonderful” PM’s thrown in for good measure too! What a deal! They had fans who were doing THEIR JOB for them—for FREE! That’s how Nay and Spyder and others became good buddies with Lynne Malone and other mods. And Nay was WB’s favorite fan too—she was doing another part of their job for FREE!! (The media stuff.) So woe to anyone who tried to disagree and stand up to the board police—if you didn’t leave voluntarily (as hundreds did), then you were forced out with bullying tactics. 

The ridiculous thing to me is that the BP keep claiming that they are just “keeping peace” on Josh’s board. I guess they can’t see that the negativity on his boards was due MOSTLY to them ruining half of the threads with their efforts to try to tell other fans what to say and how to think. Most people don’t take kindly to that, and so arguments broke out constantly—not because of the original issue of the thread, but because the board police came in and ruined the thread with condescending comments. As for me, disagreeing is one thing, and I don’t mind people arguing with me, but nobody is going to tell me who I should like or not like—that’s my decision. I’m not a robot. I have my OWN brain. Nobody is going to tell me what I have to do and say to be a “Good Josh Fan”. The BP might have been successful in running off hundreds of people they don’t like, and they managed to get me off Josh’s boards, but they can’t get rid of me as Josh’s fan. Yep, it makes them angry, but well, tough. 

Now, considering the atmosphere I just described, a natural occurrence was that some fans created an external message board, where they could speak their mind without fear of being bullied. I’m not sure when the “Josh Groban Underground” came to be, but one day I got a invitation to join. At first the forum was OK but ironically, even though I was initially invited to join because I was attacked on joshgroban.com for my viewpoints, that forum also eventually became a place where you could not speak freely about your viewpoints. The forum leader was extremely belligerent and the thing that bothered me MOST OF ALL was the extreme negativity expressed towards Josh himself! I don’t mind people criticizing Josh in a constructive way: for example, not liking his clothes or a song he sings, or the way he performed. Fans can do that and still be a fan. But the Underground leader became more and more harsh and was almost attacking Josh for everything under the sun, saying that he was becoming just another spoiled pop star. Of course, I constantly defended him, because I believed (and still do believe) that so many of the problems were not due to Josh’s decisions at all, but rather those of the people around him. For example, I believe that shoddy product “Live at The Greek” was so bad because of incompetent decisions at his record company, not because of anything Josh did. The board police on Josh’s board claimed it was a perfect product and chastised anyone for differing from that view, and the leader of the Underground blasted Josh and blamed him for everything. Talk about a contrast! I didn’t like either extreme! And I defended Josh. 

In the midst of all this turmoil, and while I was posting in the Underground, I received an incredible message from someone claiming to be a “friend of Josh’s girlfriend”. Shockingly, this person was not referring to January Jones, but rather his other real girlfriend. I will refer to this woman as “mystery woman” or MS. She had apparently been reading my posts about January and my extreme concerns about the deplorable way I believed Josh was being treated at the time: by his record company and others in the business. I was convinced that people were trying to control his life, constantly telling him what to do in his professional life-- and even his personal life to a certain extent. MS apparently contacted me to validate my feelings and help me understand the “truth” about Josh’s life. I started corresponding with this person, and over the next 7 months MS weaved a fascinating story of exciting trips, heartbreaking lonliness, and love and anguish and hope. And I believed what she said. I know I was gullible. But I couldn’t believe that anyone could LIE like that. I now know that it was all fantasy and I was a fool to believe any of it…. 

That’s all for now…